So what exactly is UK getting out of Keir Starmer's EU deal? I can't see anything

All the concessions have been made on one side. Ours.

The UK is giving ground on every front, and getting little or nothing in return.

It's a bad bargain that gives Brussels control over UK rule-making all over again. And just you wait until we see the small prinot.

The biggest failing is on migration. Since properly leaving the EU in January 2021, Britain hasn't returned a single illegal migrant to the Continent.

That won't change under this agreement. There's no migrant returns deal in place, and not even a clear commitment to negotiate one.

Starmer claims it will be "good for our borders", but the documents are silent on how. The boats will keep coming, and nobody will be returned.

Instead, we get vague platitudes about "future discussions".

The UK will, however, take in young EU citizens aged 18 to 30 through a youth mobility scheme that Brussels has been pushing.

Predictably, this is being sold as reciprocal, but as before, many more will come here than go the other way.

It's a return to freedom of movement, through the side door.

We'll also be required to align with EU food rules, and grant access to our fishing waters under a new 12-year deal.

European boats already take roughly half our catch. That share could now rise.

At the same time, our ability to negotiate other global trade deals, notably with the US, is likely to be undermined further, particularly if those agreements require us to diverge from EU food standards.

Worse still, the UK will now be exposed to the European Court of Justice again, with full oversight. If Britain strays from EU regulatory frameworks, it will face litigation.

This puts Brussels back in the box seat.

Starmer claims MPs will still have a say. But under "dynamic alignment", any attempt to block an EU rule could collapse the whole arrangement.

Parliament's role will be reduced to rubber-stamping EU laws.

What does Britain get in exchange for all of this? The headlines boast about holidaymakers finally being allowed to use e-gates in EU airports.

That's hardly a win, given that UK e-gates have already welcomed EU nationals for years.

How may concessions did Starmer have to make to get something we granted them gratis.

There's also talk of joining the EU's new 'Safe' defence fund, giving British firms like BAE Systems access to EU weapons procurement.

But the UK will also contribute to the fund, which means there's a risk that we may pay more into the fund than we get back.

And you won't be surprised to discover that this comes with strings too. Everything does, with the EU.

British troops could be drawn into "civilian missions and military operations" under EU command. That edges the UK closer to the idea of a European army, one of the very things Brexit was designed to avoid.

The stitch becomes clear when you learn who's negotiated it: Labour cabinet minister Nick Thomas-Symonds.

He's a long-standing Remain supporter who campaigned for a second referendum. He didn't get his way then. He's got it now.

Starmer has already caved to Indian demands on immigration, and dropped core trade demands with the US. So it's no surprise to see him fold again here.

The EU has walked away with everything it wanted. Britain gets little, if anything.

For Remainers, it still won't be enough. We've now got one foot back inside the EU. They won't rest until both are firmly over there. Along with all our fish.